


(at least i got you) in my head

by gignikinszz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clown To Clown Courtship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Social Media, band au, like i took it and fucking ran with it, overuse of social media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gignikinszz/pseuds/gignikinszz
Summary: "It was Obi-Wan Anakin asked to do his makeup for their last show, as it had been every other show. And, like every other show, Obi-Wan apparently felt it necessary to sit practically on top of him to do so, hands all over his face as he smudged on Anakin’s eyeliner, not that he was complaining. And, like every other show, Anakin did his best to pretend the light touch of the other man’s fingers and the weight of his knee where it leaned on Anakin’s leg wasn’t making his heart beat out of his chest."or: the band au in which songs are written and feelings are, to the surprise of everyone involved, reciprocated
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 15
Kudos: 93





	(at least i got you) in my head

**Author's Note:**

> i had way too much fun writing all the social media posts in this. like. i had so much fun you guys i had SO MUCH FUN (too much fun). that said. feel free to scroll past them bc it gets cringey lmfao
> 
> title is from "sleepover" by hayley kiyoko bc i heard it for the first time about a month ago and it made me go batshit
> 
> un-beta'd, enjoy!!

It was Obi-Wan Anakin asked to do his makeup for their last show, as it had been every other show. And, like every other show, Obi-Wan apparently felt it necessary to sit practically on top of him to do so, hands all over his face as he smudged on Anakin’s eyeliner, not that he was complaining. And, like every other show, Anakin did his best to pretend the light touch of the other man’s fingers and the weight of his knee where it leaned on Anakin’s leg wasn’t making his heart beat out of his chest.

Obi-Wan’s hands were shaky this time, fingertips a bit clammy where they touched his cheek. The breath the other man let out when he finished Anakin’s right eye was faltering.

“Hey,” Anakin said, grabbing his wrist before he could do the other eye, feeling the pulse there pounding through his skin, “it’s gonna go fine. We’ve done this set, like, a million times before.”

Obi-Wan huffed a laugh, a bit of the tension surrounding him dissipating. “I suppose you’re right about that,” he said, and Anakin smiled, pretending the air making its way past his chin wasn’t making his heart stop.

“I always am,” Anakin said, trying for a lighthearted tone, but something in his voice came out a little too rough and it caught Obi-Wan’s attention. Everything caught Obi-Wan’s attention, like he was always _paying_ attention. Really, it was a wonder he hadn’t yet figured out that his very presence made Anakin feel like he was jumping off an endless cliff, eternally suspended in midair, leaving his stomach at the top.

Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped back up to Anakin’s face from where they’d been studying his eyeliner pencil, and he had to focus to school his expression in the light of that _attention_. It was odd, though, the shine in his eyes and the way they seemed to take in Anakin’s face like it was going to disappear, the way they flickered down, almost as if—but it couldn’t have been, so Anakin pushed the thought from his mind.

“Should probably finish the other eye,” he said, going for levity and somehow finding it.

Obi-Wan blinked a little, the moment broken, and swallowed. Anakin pretended he wasn’t watching the way his throat moved through it. “Yeah,” he said, with a laugh that would’ve been nervous if it hadn’t been _him_ , effortlessly cool in any situation, “that’d be… yeah.”

Anakin didn’t get the chance to dwell on it all. Didn’t _want_ to, if he was being honest. Obi-Wan did the other eye faster, fingertips no less cold but motions more confident, and they didn’t talk about it when he was done, or any other time that night, because everything was happening too fast, and they were suddenly on stage, performing their last show, and doing their last encores, and there was no _time_ for it. No time to process.

Not that it went forgotten, of course. It was there, in the back of Anakin’s mind, when they started writing again. When he had to figure out some poetry he could play guitar to. It was _there_.

It never fucking left.

\--

**Tumblr—new post from @ashokasseashore**

[There are 6 gifs, all taken from an interview with the band JEDI. The first gif is just a shot of the band (Obi-Wan, Anakin, Ahsoka, Padme) listening as the interviewer asks if any of them had ever been romantically involved with each other. The second gif shows them laughing, and Anakin looking briefly, just long enough to be noticeable, over at Obi-Wan. The caption points this out. In the third gif, Padme explains that Anakin used to have a crush on her, to which he starts shaking his head and raising his hands at the end of the gif. In the fourth, Anakin is waving his hands around and explaining that he doesn’t have a crush on her _anymore_ , thank you very much. In the fifth gif, Ahsoka talks, explaining that if anyone did have a crush on anyone, they’d all know because they all work so closely together. The sixth gif shows Obi-Wan and Anakin both nodding, looking a little bit nervous. Not shown is the panic Anakin had after because he thought everyone had him figured out, only to be reassured by everyone who knew (Ahsoka and Padme) pretending they didn’t know.]

are you normal or do you think about this every goddamn day

_3,749 notes—1,527 likes—2,222 reblogs_

\--

“You need another song.” Satine’s tone didn’t warrant any disagreement, but Obi-Wan couldn’t think of anything they _hadn’t_ written about that he’d be actually interested in performing. It was a _fine_ record, and if they released it as it was it would do _fine_ , but even he could admit how badly he wanted it to be a lot more than just _fine_.

Meaning, they had to think of something to write that all of them would actually be into singing, something great, something to tie the record together. He had nothing.

Across their group’s little circle, sitting on Satine’s sitting room floor, Anakin’s brow was creased. One of his cheeks was smushed a little, where it was resting on his fist. Hair, probably unwashed, fell in his face. It was distracting. Too distracting.

Anakin had been distracting before, too. Before they even got back from tour. The feel of his face under Obi-Wan’s fingers every night, the sight of his back on a brightly-lit stage. His ass, not that Obi-Wan had been looking. Well, not for very long. Well, not that it really mattered, anyways.

The point was, Anakin was messing with his focus and it was getting annoying. He wanted—something. Something he didn’t really feel like naming, for the sake of his sanity. And friendship.

Anakin looked up, and they made eye contact. He still looked surly, but he looked _good_ , and Obi-Wan felt his mouth go a little dry and it was all he could do to jerk his gaze away before he got caught staring. Well. More than he already had.

It really was getting to be a bit of a problem, wasn’t it?

Obi-Wan turned his attention to the floorboards, where it remained steadfastly focused for the rest of the meeting, which he couldn’t quite bring himself to focus on. It wasn’t like Anakin was going to refuse to give him everything he’d missed later. Or Ahsoka, if Anakin hadn’t been paying attention. Or Padme, if she’d been the only one. Which was likely. Not the point.

The point was, it didn’t matter, so Obi-Wan used the time to remind him how _stupid_ it would be to invite Anakin to his apartment for drinks, like they used to do when the thought of Anakin didn’t make Obi-Wan lose his goddamn mind. It would be an abysmally stupid idea, he decided. Awful. There were about 10,000 reasons for him to _not_ come up to Anakin once Satine freed them from whatever sales tangent she was going on now and ask him to come over.

As soon as the sunlight hit his face and it was just him and Anakin, Obi-Wan looked at him—well, it might’ve been a bit of a _look_ , but not that bad, really, and at least it wasn’t a _Look_ , he was just looking casually for a little bit too long and maybe appreciating the way his hair turned colors in the sunlight—and decided, _fuck it_. He was still young. He was allowed stupid decisions.

“Do you want to come over tonight?” He asked.

“Like usual?” Anakin’s eyebrow raised with the corners of his mouth. The glint in his eyes was playful. It was almost _painful_ , how it made Obi-Wan’s heart rate pick up.

Obi-Wan nodded and Anakin grinned, and it was a temperate day but _fuck_ if Obi-Wan didn’t suddenly feel like taking his jacket off. Probably just a weird hot flash. Definitely not the grin.

He did his best to not slam his car door when he got in and realized what he’d done. That he’d invited Anakin to his apartment for the purpose of getting drunk. An act that was bound to get him in trouble, sooner or later, no matter how good he was at hiding his feelings.

 _Shit,_ he thought, more emphatically than he probably needed to. _Shit._

\--

**Obi1 kinobi| @sheesjaina**

ok but like…… the way anakin looks at obi wan during she……….. with the guitar…..…….. NOT platonic NOT heterosexual

**i’m just sayin….. | @jedijedijediiiiiiii**

@sheesjaina DKLJD THAT ONE TIME HE SAID HE

**Obi1 kinobi | @sheesjaina**

@jedijedijediiiiiiii WAIT WHAT pleASE god say u have video LKJDKFLJDSKFSDJF

**jedi is inherently gay | @debbierightsbithc**

@sheesjaina @jedijedijediiiiiiii your food, queers [Video: Anakin singing “She”, which may or may not just be “She” by Harry Styles, and on the chorus, instead of saying “she lives in daydreams with me”, Anakin switches the pronoun to “he”. Obi-Wan is off to the side, having his hot girl moment playing The Guitar. Anakin is looking at him like he wants to make out as he sings the wrong word. Smooth, Skywalker.]

**Obi1 kinobi | @sheesjaina**

@debbierightsbithc I OWE YOU MY LIFE QUEEN !!!!!!!!

\--

The scar hadn’t looked so bad under the bandages, right after the accident. The stub of his arm had been a bigger issue, at that point, and he hadn’t even thought about it. Now, however, standing in Obi-Wan’s bathroom, a little tipsy, staring into the mirror and watching himself gaze back, he had to admit that it was pretty nasty.

He didn’t like thinking about it. Aesthetically, he guessed it was cool. The fans sure seemed to think so, so he wasn’t going to argue.

In person, though, up close… he’d rather it wasn’t there. It seemed unnecessary. It made him look harsher, meaner than he was.

Obi-Wan had once told him he didn’t like mean people. Anakin knew all too well how he could snap, when he was tired, when he was hungry, when something infinitesimal set him off. The straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Well, Anakin’s camel probably needed a new fucking spine. It was a wonder Obi-Wan could stand him, really.

And that, that shit hurt. Knowing how much he probably annoyed Obi-Wan, when the other man was his fucking sun and moon and everything in-between. Obi-Wan was the entire earth, every main road and side street and little out-of-the-way tea shop and laundromat and little house in the middle of nowhere and blade of grass and grain of fucking sand. He was _everything_.

And Anakin was mean. Mean and angry. And he didn’t know what to do with that, other than listen to his therapist and apologize every time he fucked up.

He was afraid, actually, that he’d fucked up that day, sitting in their meeting. He didn’t know what it was, but something had put a stake through his mood. Probably the thought of trying to wring out more emotions he could give to the world in the form of music.

It wasn’t that he hated writing music. No, he _loved_ it. It was cathartic. It was the fact that people were going to try and _guess_ things about him that bothered him. Whatever lay between the lines he penned was none of their business, including but not limited to his annoyingly bright and sticky feelings for his best friend. That was personal. That was a thing he pointedly didn’t say.

He hated it when people guessed, was the point. He didn’t really care about anything else, if he was being honest, but having people _think_ and _know_ how much he loved—no, _cared about_ —Obi-Wan was mortifying. Twitter was, well, a nightmare. People had _theories_ and _edits_ and honestly, Anakin was two seconds from deleting the stupid app entirely.

Well, that had had him sitting on Satine’s floor, still definitely _not_ jealous of the fact that she and Obi-Wan had been together, pissed about the fact that he wanted, more than anything, to pour every single one of his feelings into the music, and the fact that he also wanted, more than anything, for those feelings to stay secret.

Obi-Wan had noticed, perceptive as ever, and the expression that crossed his face when Anakin made scowly eye contact with him was completely unreadable. Which was a feat, given how long they’d known each other.

It looked almost surprised, but there was something else mixed in there. Anakin couldn’t name it. He assumed it was some form of disappointment, so he didn’t bother feeling worse when Obi-Wan looked away.

He did feel worse when Obi-Wan invited him for drinks at his apartment that night, probably due to the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in far too long. A fact that definitely wasn’t true because Anakin was trying his best to avoid him.

He couldn’t say _no_.

And so he was there. Drunk. Well, drunk-ish. Staring at his stupid mean scar in Obi-Wan’s bathroom, wishing he was drunker but worrying about what he might try if he was. Realistically, he knew he couldn’t stay forever. It would be weird. In his head, though, he couldn’t help but wonder if the bathtub would be a comfortable bed.

That was weird. He washed his hands—just to be sanitary, even though he didn’t even touch anything gross, and definitely not to procrastinate leaving, because that would be dumb, and Anakin really wasn’t _that_ dumb, and even if he was, he definitely wasn’t _stalling_ —and made himself leave.

When he got back out to the sitting room, Obi-Wan was sitting like he usually did, legs spread, and _wow_ , Anakin’s mouth was uncomfortably dry.

Maybe another drink or seven wouldn’t hurt, after all.

\--

**Instagram—New post from @anakinssss**

[10 images of Anakin’s face, most of which are centered on his scar. The seventh image shows him with his face turned towards Obi-Wan, because they’re talking to each other.]

scar appreciation post!!! <3<3 we LOVE anakins face

_Comments—187_

**@anastans** SEVENTH PHOTO SEVENTH PHOTO

 **@nobikins_742** y’all they are TALKING TO EACH OTHER stop making it a weird ship thing. their real people with real lives and y’all don’t get to just go and…

**@yesbikinsSsSsS** bro stfu we’re all tired of hearing your rancid ass takes on every gd post

**@nobikins_742** im just saying that it’s rude to speculate. they deserve their privacy and dont owe anyone details about their relationship…

**@gaysjed1i1i1ii** lmfao calm ur tits dude WERE just pointing out the obvious sexual tension there, like ??? come ON

_View 23 more replies_

 **@obeeeeewans** yall yall YALL—

_View 158 more comments_

\--

 _Baby._ It felt right. Maybe that was the feeling he’d been trying so hard not to name. It didn’t matter, now. Anakin was _right there in his bed_ so of course he was going to say it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been _thinking_ it, for far longer than his sober brain was willing to admit.

Well, good thing he wasn’t sober. He was drunk and exhausted and yeah, he wanted to call his best friend in the whole world, who was all leather jackets and scars and rough hands and soft edges and brilliant smiles, who was laying in his arms, _baby_. And he wanted to do it _then_.

So he did.

“Baby,” he murmured into Anakin’s ear, pulling him closer on the bed, arm around his waist. God, he was so _soft_ like this, sleepy, hair tickling Obi-Wan’s nose. It was nice hair. Soft. Good-smelling. Why didn’t they sleep like this every night, again? It didn’t make any sense. “I missed you. Baby.”

Anakin made a noise, sounding somewhere in the ballpark of _confused_ , which absolutely didn’t make sense because everything Obi-Wan was doing made total sense, and turned around to face him.

“I’m not—” Anakin sounded like he was struggling to get the words out. Obi-Wan didn’t think he’d had _that_ much to drink, but then again, he’d been acting weird all night. He’d probably come drunk. Little shit. “—Obi-Wan,” the other man’s voice drifted back into his ears and Obi-Wan realized he’d zoned out. Huh.

More perplexing, though, were the next words that came out of Anakin’s mouth.

“I’m not your baby.”

Obi-Wan frowned, some mixture of shock and confusion coursing its way through him. “What?”

Anakin gave him a _look_ , all creases in his forehead and something bordering on hurt in his eyes. “I’m not your _baby_ , Obi-Wan. Don’t mock me my saying that I am.”

“Why shouldn’t you be?” And _shit_ , he was so drunk, mouth moving without his approval. Rude. “You’re my best friend, and you’re _so_ pretty, and, like, it’s just… right,” his mouth finished lamely.

Anakin was silent for a long moment. Obi-Wan didn’t know whether or not it was a hopeful one, was too busy memorizing the way Anakin’s face looked in the low light, all lashes and parted lips, and god, even the _scar_ was pretty, to care.

“You sure talk some shit when you’re drunk,” he said with an air of finality, and turned around again. And that was that.

It was wrong, he thought as he slipped under, but it was that.

\--

**Buzzfeed Celeb | @BuzzfeedCeleb**

There’s a lot of rumors around JEDI’s Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Let’s dissect [link].

**ahsoka | @snipstano**

is it still considered rude to mess with someone if they’re fucking stupid

**anakin | @skyguyskywalker**

im literally begging every single one of u to speculate on things that ARENT my love life,, lets go back to the good old days with the arm memes pls

**pads | @padme**

folks I COULD NOT be more excited about the record we’re making

**pads | @padme**

actually I would be if @obikenobi would answer his gd phone but that’s beside the point

\--

Anakin was sitting on the floor of the studio, trying to process the morning’s events. Anakin was sitting on the floor of the studio, trying to think of a single lyric that _wasn’t_ about Obi-Wan. Anakin was sitting on the floor of the studio, unable to think about anything _but_ Obi-Wan.

It was an interesting kind of torture, being held at arm’s length from someone he’d always been so _close_ to. Anakin was left, cruelly, to only _remember_ neon handprints where Obi-Wan had once grabbed his waist to move him, the electric trail of a finger accidentally brushing his hand; the single, absolutely _mind-flaying_ kiss on his hand, just because the other man thought it would be funny. Most achingly was, for some reason, the cold, clammy fingers Anakin still remembered caressing his face, the shaky breaths that came with them, the one night he might have thought, that _maybe_ —

But it wasn’t. And everything else was all gone in the morning, ghosted away by some malevolent spirit in the night, when he woke up cold and alone. Wandering to the kitchen, finding Obi-Wan, only made it worse. He was—for lack of a better word—frigid. Not touching. Barely smiling. Looking like he was just _tolerating_ Anakin’s presence there.

There was only one explanation, and it made Anakin feel sick, so he skipped the coffee and went back to his apartment to try and scrap together his sanity before rehearsal and figure out a plan for if Obi-Wan really _had_ figured him out and was going to hate him forever.

It didn’t work. So now he was memorizing one of the studio’s floorboards, trying to figure out any other explanation while simultaneously trying to ignore Padme and Ashoka, a feat that was harder than it looked.

He broke on Ahsoka’s fourth “Anakin!” accompanied by a metal spoon hitting his forehead.

“What the _fuck?_ ” He asked, scowling and rubbing his head. “Why did you just throw your spoon at me?”

“I think you know why,” Ahsoka said, raising an eyebrow.

“Come on,” Padme said after he resolutely didn’t answer, “what’s the story here? You were with Obi-Wan last night, Anakin, why the fuck isn’t he here?”

“Yeah,” Ahsoka agreed, raising her eyebrow in what was, in Anakin’s opinion, an overly accusing manner. “And don’t say it’s because he’s hungover, because we all know he’d show up here with a broken leg. Also, you’re acting too weird.”

Anakin sighed. He did _not_ want to do this. It was all just… way too much to unpack.

He did it anyways.

“Uh, well, I just…” He looked at the floor, studying the wood of the rehearsal space like it held the secrets to life or how the _fuck_ Obi-Wan had figured him out. “I think Obi-Wan figured out that I, um, uh…” He didn’t want to say it. His chest felt tight and he _didn’t want to say it_ —

“Oh, that you’re in love with him?” Ahsoka asked, nonchalant, as if she hadn’t just dug up his most difficult secret and laid it out for everyone to see. “This isn’t, like, a sex thing, is it?”

Anakin snapped his gaze up to her, mouth hanging open a bit, in shock.

“You—I—” He took a breath, trying to calm himself. “How did you know?” It came out as a squeak, but he was too distracted to be embarrassed.

“Uh, it was obvious?” Padme said, as if it was, well. Obvious. “Now, come on, what happened?” Her tone was a little suggestive, and Anakin felt a surge of horror flash through him. Did _everyone_ think they were together? Not just the weird Twitter stans?

“I—well—” He stopped, forced himself to take a slow breath. “Well we were pretty wasted, right? Or, well—anyways, yeah, we were wasted. And I, uh, couldn’t drive home, so I just stayed over, like usual, you know? But we were in his bed, and he kinda called me, uh, he called me _baby_ , but he doesn’t _like_ me like that, and I told him as much, and we kinda had a sort of argument about it, but then we fell asleep, and anyways, it was so awkward this morning, and now I’m pretty sure he’s avoiding me.”

Anakin’s hands were covering his face now, trying to hide his reddening cheeks and embarrassing, stress-tear-filled eyes. They’d gotten there sometime in the middle of his explanation, and it was all he could do to peer at Ahsoka and Padme, who were staring at him with weird expressions again.

“Anakin,” Ahsoka said, slowly, after an eternal moment of silence, “has anyone ever told you that you’re the stupidest person ever and they want to lovingly smash your head in with a chair? I just want to know if I’m gonna be the first.”

“What?” Anakin asked, now defensive. “I didn’t do anything stupid. He’s not in love with me, okay? He was just talking shit because he was drunk.”

“And you’re sure about that,” Padme said, giving him a look that suggested his answer should be _no_.

“Yes,” he said. “Of course I am.”

“Talking to you physically leeches the brain cells from my skull,” Ahsoka announced to him, palm on her forehead, before turning to Padme. “Padme, he—I—”

“I know,” Padme said, nodding, looking at him like an archaeologist would look at a piece of bone buried in the dirt. “I know.” Then she shook her head a little and gave him a small smile. “Let’s just see what we can do without him, yeah?”

Anakin nodded, reminding himself to thank her and sing her praises later. Then he forced all thoughts of Obi-Wan—especially the ones wondering about certain things that weren’t even possibilities—out of his mind, determined to make it through practice in one piece.

\--

**Instagram—New Post from @JEDIband**

[Image: a selfie, taken by Anakin, of him and Ahsoka in their practice space. He’s on the floor in front of the drumset, which she’s sitting at. He looks annoyed and she’s grinning and winking, giving the camera finger guns. There is lettuce in Anakin’s hair.]

note to self: don’t eat lunch when Ahsoka is sitting at the drumset. at least, not unless you want the shit scared out of you #unprovoked #ettubrute

_Comments—1387_

**@anakinsgirlcrush** 1 like = 1 prayer for anakin’s sandwich

**@anakinsgirlcrush** **SALAD I MEANT SALAD PLS STOP ROASTING ME T.T

_View 27 more replies_

 **@audssplamacnt** BGLSKFG not the salad T.T T.T T.T our bravest soldier u will be missed

 **@sparkscry__** maybe if she gets him bad enough he’ll admit he & obi wan are together lmfao

**@guitarslut** its rude to assume theyre in a relationship. thats there private business and if you think you’re entitled _…_

_View 54 more replies_

_View 1301 more comments_

\--

Obi-Wan had been kicking himself all morning. Of course, of _course_ , the minute he got a little bit too drunk and a little bit too alone with Anakin, it had all come spilling out. And of course, because he really shouldn’t have expected anything else, he’d been rejected.

It made sense, of course. Even if it hadn’t the night before, it was all too clear in the light of day, when Anakin left before Obi-Wan could even try to explain. He’d spent too much time trying to figure out what to say, giving Anakin space because _clearly_ he wasn’t interested in _that_ , and he’d just _left_ , and god, it was a mess. _He_ was a mess.

He was sitting on his kitchen floor with an empty notebook in front of him. Flicking his pen between his fingers. Anakin always made fun of him for using pen, but it didn’t smudge once it was dry so he always told Anakin, joking of course, that at least he’d be able to read _his_ diaries when he got old, and Anakin would shoot back with something about how he didn’t need a diary, and god, was _everything_ about Anakin? Did Obi-Wan’s entire _life_ revolve around him?

The answer was probably yes. He tried not to think about it.

It had been nice, he thought, when their sleepovers were just… sleepovers. No stupid love confessions. No awkward rejections. None of that _I’m not your baby_ shit. None of that _baby_ shit in the slightest.

Though, in all the daydreams he’d been trying to ignore, it had gone differently and when he’d woken up, he’d been able to hold onto Anakin until they could look each other in the eyes and call each other that dumb pet name, that they could’ve held hands and had it _mean_ something, that he could’ve kissed the coffee from Anakin’s lips, stumbled around the kitchen together in the golden light—

Obi-Wan was getting sick of daydreaming. It made reality more cutting than it needed to be.

Not that there wasn’t, at the same time, some comfort in it. Along with a wild temptation to _stay_ in his daydreams, to not let go of them when they fizzled out and he realized his tea was cold. It was stupid, he knew, but at least he had that. It was better than nothing.

With that in mind, he put his pen to the paper and started writing.

\--

**askdjfnakin !! | @obikinassumptions**

OBIKIN AS HOUSEPLANTS (thread):

_Show this thread_

**if the ship fits | @dreamofhowyoufuckedme**

re: the houseplants thread….. obikin shippers yall ok????

**ahsoka’s left drumstick | @notacasuallllllesb**

oh its bad in this bitch tonite

**#1 PADME STAN | @marrymepadmeamidala**

NOT OBIKIN TRENDING BC OF THE HOUSEPLANTS THREAD Y A L L –

**askdjfnakin !! | @obikinassumptions**

to all those asking: no i am not ok

\--

Obi-Wan texted two hours after the world’s shittiest rehearsal, saying he’d gotten “distracted.” Yeah, right. Anakin almost texted the group chat back to call him on his bullshit, but then he remembered that that would’ve required talking to the man, so he refrained and decided to stare at his ceiling instead.

He hadn’t been reading anything wrong the night before. He couldn’t have been. He would’ve _known_ if Obi-Wan was into him, he definitely would’ve. It’s not like he could’ve missed all the soft smiles and lingering touches and _looks_ the other man would’ve given if he _was_ actually interested. There was no way Anakin was that stupid, despite the stupid whisperings in the back of his mind telling him otherwise.

So he made himself look for music to play and came up with _nothing_ , of course. Why hadn’t anyone written a good I’m-in-love-with-my-best-friend-and-he’s-a-flirtatious-drunk-but-he-doesn’t-actually-like-me-back song yet? It just didn’t seem right.

He texted Padme, _we should write a song about pining._

She texted back, eyeroll emojis and _would you consider just talking to him about it?_

Anakin glared at his phone screen, replied, _what’s there to talk about?_

All he got back were angry faces. The really angry ones, with little censor bars over their mouths.

Anakin scowled even harder. He hadn’t even _done_ anything.

Well, whatever. His phone bounced a little when it hit the floor across the room, but he ignored it in favor of grabbing a pencil, ignoring the annoying thoughts about his and Obi-Wan’s continual “argument” about pens and pencils, and staring at a page of notebook paper, willing the words to come to mind.

He stayed there for hours and, frustratingly, his mind and the page stayed blank, so he kept it by his bed when he went to sleep. Maybe the answer would come in his dreams. Or, if not that, a reprieve from the reality of the situation.

He needed that much, at least.

\--

**Tumblr—new post by @skynobisrising**

[Three gifs, all of Anakin and Obi-Wan looking at each other Not Platonically. The first is from some sort of formal event, and they are talking to each other with their faces way closer than they really need to be. The second gif is from a performance, and Anakin is looking back at Obi-Wan, who grinning, as he sings. The song isn’t specified, but it’s probably romantic, given how moony their eyes are. The third and final gif is from an actual published music video, in which these clowns are sitting at a small, circular table together, again with their faces way too close. They are both grinning and, at the end of the gif, Anakin sticks his tongue out at Obi-Wan. It honestly looks like they’re not even trying to hide their feelings.]

obikin x staring ~~ requested by @atosassnao

_1027 notes—632 likes—395 reblogs_

\--

Obi-Wan was done with the song. It was four in the morning and he was buzzed on Anakin’s gross coffee, but he was finished.

The realization sent a mix of emotions through him. Relief, that he’d been able to write such a song at all. Pride, that it came out so well.

Mind-numbing terror, that he was going to have to play it for everyone tomorrow, when they asked what he’d been so distracted with that day. Yesterday?

Obi-Wan was fucking exhausted. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure anymore, not in the slightest. And, brazenly, before he could really think it through, Obi-Wan was grabbing his phone and asking Anakin if they could meet, just the two of them, the next day. Or was it today? He didn’t know. He sent the text.

Fuck. Obi-Wan needed to sleep. He needed to practice, but—

He slept.

\--

**Obi-Wan Kenobi | @obikenobi**

Incredibly excited to share what we’ve been writing with all of you. <3

**pads | @padme**

actual band shit: coming VERY SOON 😊

**ahoska | @snipstano**

ehehehehehehehehehehhehehe

**Buzzfeed Celeb | @BuzzfeedCeleb**

Members of @JEDIband have taken to Twitter today to tease new music coming soon. But will it ever be soon enough? (no. the answer is no.) [LINK]

\--

“I just want you to hear it,” Obi-Wan said, a frown creasing his face, still looking undeniably handsome. “Please?”

And he looked so desperate, and Anakin was so fucking gone, that he just sat down and nodded once, preparing himself for his heart to be ripped out of his chest.

He wouldn’t lie, he’d been worried when Obi-Wan had texted him at four in the goddamn morning, asking if they could meet one-on-one. He’d been _more_ worried when he’d gotten to the other man’s apartment and he looked like he hadn’t slept. The fucking guitar was just the icing on the metaphorical make-Anakin-nervous cake.

Still, though, Anakin couldn’t say no, especially when Obi-Wan, who hardly _ever_ sang alone, wanted to sing to him. The thought of it turned his insides to mush, and it didn’t help when the other man actually started.

The first thing he noticed was how pretty it was. Pretty like Obi-Wan. The second thing were the words. The fucking words.

 _You wanna be friends forever, I can think of something better. Sleeping here right next to me, but will you ever mess with me? No. You will never understand, even when you hold my hand._ They kept piling up. Useless pining and yearning for something, some _one_ , he could never have, and somehow, it was _exactly_ everything Anakin had been feeling for years now. It could’ve come from his own brain.

It was _exactly_ what he’d been trying to write the day before.

As Obi-Wan went on, Anakin couldn’t help but wonder why he’d decided to pull this out now. How he’d even come up with it. Why he’d written it in the first place. Why he’d decided to play it for _Anakin_ , of all people, when he clearly wasn’t the one the song was about.

(And if a small voice in the back of his mind disagreed with that appraisal, well, he could just shove it back down and tell the false hope to piss off. That was the _last_ thing he needed to deal with this situation.)

When Obi-Wan finished, he just looked up at Anakin, expectantly.

“Well?” He asked. “What do you think? Is it alright?” He sounded almost nervous, though he had no reason to be.

“It’s beautiful,” Anakin breathed. “And the lyrics, I—where’d you get them from? They’re perfect.” They’re _relatable_.

Obi-Wan shifted, looking uncomfortable, and put the guitar aside. “That’s, uh, the reason I wanted to play this for you before everyone else,” he said, gaze falling somewhere around Anakin’s shoulder. “I realize we don’t feel the same about each other, and that’s alright, but I just had to let it out, so it’s kind of, um, well. I mean, you probably already know,” he chuckled nervously, looking up a little, but not enough to meet Anakin’s eyes.

“I’m not picking up what you’re putting down right now,” Anakin said, slowly, confusion creeping in. A sliver of dread made its way through him, too. Obi-Wan wasn’t airing everything out like _this_ , was he really?

“It’s just that,” the other man said, looking down at his hands, wringing each other out in his lap. “You—it’s—I—fuck it," he muttered under his breath, before finally meeting Anakin’s eyes. “It’s how I feel about you.”

It took Anakin at least ten awkward seconds to process that statement.

“Uh, sorry?” He said, not as an apology but as a statement of confusion. “That’s not how you feel about me. That’s how I feel about you.”

And then it was Obi-Wan’s turn to stare. “What?” He asked, drawing the word out, letting it sit in his mouth.

“Uh, you can’t secretly be in love with me,” Anakin said without thinking, “because that would mean I rejected you because I thought you were drunk shit-talking. And I’m not that stupid. I cannot be that stupid.”

“But… you are?” Obi-Wan said, and it came out as a question. “It’s not like _you_ can secretly be in love with _me_. Because that would mean that you thought my stupid drunken confession was just shit-talking. And there’s absolutely no way I confessed _that_ badly.”

“But you did,” Anakin said, something sparking up in his chest. “You did. And I did. And—”

He broke off, needing to stop talking. He needed to stop _thinking_. He needed to kiss the stupid man he stupid fucking loved and he needed to do it _then_.

He did it.

It was funny, how something so simple could make someone feel like their entire earth had been shattered and rebuilt. It was so fast, just a press of lips, and yet when Anakin pulled back and looked at Obi-Wan’s face, he was hit head-on with how much what was happening was very much happening.

“Holy shit.” Obi-Wan’s voice was rough, which didn’t even make _sense_ , it hadn’t even been _dirty_ , but he was staring at Anakin like he was everything and Anakin was pretty sure he was staring back the same way and Anakin could’ve _laughed_ because everything seemed so _obvious_ now.

“Holy shit,” he said instead, breathless, agreeing. “We should, uh, we should do that more often.”

To Anakin’s credit, Obi-Wan was the one who started laughing. He just had to reciprocate so he didn’t wound his best friend’s— _boyfriend’s_ , he was pretty sure—dignity. And if it was nice, being able to laugh like that because they were both stupid but at least it was stupid in love, well, that was no one’s business but their own, now wasn’t it?

It was even kind of nice telling everyone (Padme, Ahsoka, and Satine), despite the copious amounts of money Anakin and his boyfriend kindly pretended not to see changing hands, because after the initial rush were the hugs and the settling in and the knowledge that they were all going to be just fine.

\--

It was Obi-Wan Anakin asked to do his makeup for their first show, as had become their tradition on the last tour. He was good at it now, too, hands much less hesitant, much less shaky as he touched more of his boyfriend’s face than he probably really needed to.

It was a quick, stolen moment, sandwiched in-between soundchecks and stress and last-minute worrying, but it needed to be done and it gave Obi-Wan a good excuse to more-or-less sit on Anakin’s lap, so he took it and ran with it as best he could.

He’d never get sick of that dumb flirtatious smile Anakin gave him when he wanted to kiss, and he’d almost _certainly_ never get sick of making good on the request, if for longer than he probably should’ve. It helped, though, with the nerves, judging by the slight relaxation of Anakin’s shoulders and the ease of his smile after, though Ahsoka yelling at them to “stop making out, it’s gross” and “I really thought you two would’ve _gained_ brain cells being together, not _lost_ them” cut into the moment.

Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin’s hand before they went on. The grin he got back lived in his mind rent free, through the show, through to the next time and the next time and the next.

It was nice, he thought vaguely, one night far too late and far too distracted by the sleeping figure next to him. It was nice, having a person like Anakin. Having someone by your side who just, though it all, never fucking left.

**Author's Note:**

> anakin, the entire fic: i'm not /that/ stupid  
> obi-wan, the second he gets the chance: yes. you're that stupid
> 
> also [here's the song](https://youtu.be/QpgEU_3g5qw) because it makes me go FERAL
> 
> thank you for reading!! comments/kudos are appreciated !! or come yell at me on [tumblr :))) <333](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gignikinszz)


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